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It’s amazing at how misunderstood Canada is.

As you know, Vancouver will host the 2010 Winter Olympics. Here are some questions people from all over the world are asking.

Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.

Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto -can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it’s only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. ( Italy )
A: Let’s not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )
A: When did your last slave die?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . Ca-na-da is that big country to your North…oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary . Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ?( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , right after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don’t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunters/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It’s a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It’s called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

from http://stumblingahead.blogspot.com/2007 and International Tourism Website.

I saw a documentary a long time ago where people were smoking dope in a coffeehouse type place in downtown Vancouver and the cops didn’t bother them at all.
When did marijuana become legal? Where is this place ’cause I want to check it out myself!

There are a number of cafes on the Pot Block on Hastings in Vancouver. Yes, people do smoke weed there but it is not legal. The reason the cops don’t bug them is because those cafes are in the downtown east side where a bunch of hippies smoking weed and drinking coffee are the least of the cops concerns. The places get busted every now and then but they stay open for business.

Medical marijuana is legal throughout Canada but it is not legal for recreational use. However, in Vancouver (can’t speak for other cities) if you are discrete about your use and don’t cause problems for other people, the cops will pretty much just ignore you. People still get busted but every time someone I know has been busted, they’ve had their pot taken from them and that’s it. I’m sure people do get into bigger trouble than that because, well, some people love mouthing off at the cops, especially the VPD.

I live in Vancouver Canada. Are they any Sharks in the waters where I live?

You betcha! There are lots of different kinds of sharks near you. They range from puny (68 cm) to pretty freakin’ huge (980 cm).

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Yes, they exist but personally I’ve never see sharks on the waters nearby Vancouver, maybe we scare them…

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I would have to say yes there are sharks in your area. I am from southern california and I have surfed for over ten years. I have also visited vancouver several times but never for surf. Almost every area of the ocean has sharks it is just a matter of what kind of sharks. Great whites a attracted to cold water and you have plenty of that in vancouver. I know for certain that northern california and above states have a high concentration of great white sharks. You are right on the border so I would assume the same for you. Remember that you have better odds of getting struck by lighning then getting attacked by a shark. I hope this helps. Enjoy the ocean and be sure to always respect