What Is Self Esteem?
What if you could have it all? 6 Steps to Living your Best Life Simply put, people want more out of life. The 80’s were a time of wanting more money, the 90’s more time and now it is more fulfillment. Statistics Canada (Sept., 2004) reported only 32.6% of Canadians surveyed report being very satisfied with life.
So, how does one achieve fulfillment while also juggling the responsibilities and demands of life; career, family, health, money, relationships, community, recreation and personal growth? This is a very important question as life is an integrated whole with each area interdependent on the other. As more people begin to understand that the true measure of success is the attainment of life balance, they may also gain awareness that true life balance means including everything you want in life, or having it all. The 6 keys to living your best life are:
1. Design your Ideal Life
Dare to imagine new possibilities - what do you really want? If you were to eliminate the ’shoulds’ and start owning who you are, being all of your best self, what would that look like? What is your personal definition of success? What do you love? What are you passionate about? Spend some time focusing your energy and getting clear on what you really want to create for yourself.
2. Visualize Success
Create a picture of a future you having achieved your ideal successful life. Fully associate with that vision, what do you see, what does it feel like, what are you saying to yourself? Make it as compelling as possible, make a collage to represent this vision.
3. Utilize the Law of Attraction
Everything in the universe is energy, start projecting the kind of energy you would like to see come your way. Knowing that success breeds success, start living ‘as if’ by creating success for yourself now in your attitude and outlook. Coming from a place of fulfillment and happiness, notice what shows up in your life. Make today your best day.
4. Practice Extreme Self Care>
Develop a strong relationship with SELF, tune into your intuition using meditation or journaling. Honour your needs, feel and express your emotions fully. Take great care of your mind, body and spirit.
5. Clear the Path to Success
What obstacles are in your way? Be honest with yourself about the beliefs you may have that continually limit you from getting what you want. What are you tolerating in life? When these things are handled, it increases your energy and clears a space for what you want to show up.
6. Ask for It!
When we ask for what we want, it inspires others and empowers us as humans to really go for it. Connect with people, share your dreams. Draw on the power of partnering and synergy by allowing others to support and help us. I read a very inspiring quote that says ‘The Question I am asked daily by the world; was that all you wanted?’ -Genine Lentine We only get one chance in life; this is not a dress rehearsal. The only limit to what you can have in your life is the size of your imagination, and the level of your commitment to making it happen. Self esteem is a familiar term that is used, but what exactly does it mean?
Self Esteem is actually a system of measurement. It is a way of measuring and describing how a person thinks and feels about themselves. It is a method that attempts to measure a person’s value or self worth. Self Esteem measures how people think about themselves in two different aspects . By using a combination of these two criteria enables a person to make a judgment about their unique value, or worth as a person. From this judgment a feeling of self esteem is usually formed. Here are the two criteria people commonly use to measure self esteem: How Lovable Am I?
Your self esteem is based on how lovable you think you are. How do you decide how lovable you are? This is usually determined by what you think other people think of you, and how much you think these other people care about you.
How Capable Are You? Your self esteem is measured by what you think about the things you ‘do’. This falls into two groups; your traits and behaviours. Traits refers to attributes such as patience, being brave, clean, organized, thrifty etc. Qualities that you believe are valuable and desirable in your life. Behaviours are more specific, for example, how fast you can run 100 metres, how well you can cook dinner, or add up numbers.
As you determine your self esteem to the degree that you consider yourself lovable and capable, it will inevitably be deeply rooted in your intrinsic belief in your uniqueness, value and worth as a person. It is also, clearly a subjective opinion and strongly influenced by your personal beliefs and values as well as the influence of your family, upbringing and other significant life events.
This process of measuring your value and worth as a person poses some interesting questions for consideration.
If I were to ask you to rate your level of self esteem today with a number between 1-10, with 1 being no self esteem, you see no value in your life and are seriously considering suicide, and 10 being thinking you are the greatest person in the whole world- What would your number be?
Supposing tomorrow, you had an argument with your best friend and they didn’t like you or want to speak to you ever again, would your number remain the same or be lower? If your self esteem is affected by your emotions, or the way you interact with people and how you perceive what they think of you then there is a fundamental problem. The problem is your self esteem will inevitably be unstable and easily affected by your feelings and perceptions which arise from your circumstances and the way people respond to you.
However your worth and value as a person, in reality, remains the same, irrespective of your emotions, circumstances and relationships. You are not any less of value as a person tomorrow than today or yesterday. One person’s reaction or opinion cannot change your value and worth as a person. Your emotions cannot change your value as a unique human being, any more than catching a cold or someone else having a bad day can devalue your worth. Your value as a person remains constant whether the sun is shining and you are having a great day, or there’s a storm outside and the events of the day are not going as well as you would like them to. Everyone has value and worth as a human being. We are all unique with different personalities, strengths and weaknesses, and each one of us have been created as lovable and capable people. I would like to suggest that our self esteem should not be based on our thoughts and perceptions of how we are treated or valued by other people, or by how well or badly we perform, whether to our personal standards or that of others. Rather our self esteem will grow from a deeper inner place as we discover and accept our uniqueness and value, and learn how to love and live life with purpose
written by Barbara White
The founder of Beyond Better Development has a passion to inspire and equip others to experience more success in their life. She is a speaker and trainer in personal development and communication skills in Vancouver, B.C. Canada.
